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Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men
★ 7.4/10•2003•TV-14•Comedy
Similars

Two adults. One kid. No grown-ups.

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

StatusEnded
LanguageEN
First Air DateSep 22, 2003

Episodes

Episode 1 - PilotE123m

Pilot

Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

Sep 22, 2003

Episode 2 - Big Flappy BastardsE221m

Big Flappy Bastards

Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

Sep 29, 2003

Episode 3 - Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of HellE321m

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

Oct 6, 2003

Episode 4 - If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a NapE421m

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

Oct 13, 2003

Episode 5 - The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a HumpE519m

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump

Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

Oct 20, 2003

Episode 6 - Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?E621m

Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

Oct 27, 2003

Episode 7 - If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually FakeE721m

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

Nov 3, 2003

Episode 8 - Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-FulE819m

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

Nov 10, 2003

Episode 9 - Phase One, CompleteE921m

Phase One, Complete

Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.

Nov 17, 2003

Episode 10 - Merry ThanksgivingE1021m

Merry Thanksgiving

Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.

Nov 24, 2003

Episode 11 - Alan Harper, Frontier ChiropractorE1120m

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.

Dec 15, 2003

Episode 12 - Camel Filters and PheromonesE1221m

Camel Filters and Pheromones

Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

Jan 5, 2004

Episode 13 - Sarah Like Puny AlanE1320m

Sarah Like Puny Alan

Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.

Jan 12, 2004

Episode 14 - I Can't Afford HyenasE1421m

I Can't Afford Hyenas

Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.

Feb 2, 2004

Episode 15 - Round One to the Hot Crazy ChickE1521m

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.

Feb 9, 2004

Episode 16 - That Was Saliva, AlanE1621m

That Was Saliva, Alan

Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.

Feb 16, 2004

Episode 17 - Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the HatsE1720m

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.

Feb 23, 2004

Episode 18 - An Old Flame With a New WickE1821m

An Old Flame With a New Wick

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

Mar 1, 2004

Episode 19 - I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember YouE1919m

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

Mar 22, 2004

Episode 20 - Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the DarkE2021m

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.

Apr 19, 2004

Episode 21 - No Sniffing, No WowingE2121m

No Sniffing, No Wowing

Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.

May 3, 2004

Episode 22 - My Doctor Has a Cow PuppetE2221m

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.

May 10, 2004

Episode 23 - Just Like BuffaloE2321m

Just Like Buffalo

When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

May 17, 2004

Episode 24 - Can You Feel My Finger?E2421m

Can You Feel My Finger?

Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.

May 24, 2004

Actors

Ashton Kutcher

Ashton Kutcher

Walden Schmidt

Jon Cryer

Jon Cryer

Alan Harper

Conchata Ferrell

Conchata Ferrell

Berta

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